Baby Loss Awareness Week: Supporting your employees

*Trigger warning* this article talks about baby loss.

1 in 4 people in the UK experience pregnancy or baby loss. The week of 9-15 October - Baby Loss Awareness Week – aims to raise awareness about pregnancy and baby death in the UK and is a time to come together in remembrance of all the much-loved babies who died too soon.

The experience of pregnancy and infant loss is poorly understood due to the silence surrounding it. Baby loss is widely known as a silent loss, one that is rarely acknowledged by employers and colleagues in a workplace setting, let alone openly spoken about. Here, we provide some thoughts and ideas on how businesses and HR functions can ensure they provide the right support to all those affected by the loss of a baby at any stage.

Supporting colleagues who have experienced baby loss

The experience of grief and loss will vary person to person. Losing a child is a life-changing event that is difficult to process, with lasting emotional and physical impacts on those experiencing it. Work is often the last thing on people’s minds during this time, and anything employers can do to assist will be a form of support to those affected.

Thoughtful management and support can make a real difference to how people cope – a lack of support from an employer during this difficult time in an employee’s life can result in increased absences, reduced productivity, lower standards of work or even the employee leaving the organisation.

Our own Kerry White kindly and candidly shares her own experiences of baby loss and the difference the support she received made to her and her family: “We lost our first baby boy in March 2016 at 23.5 weeks, the support I received from everyone at Macmillan Davies was second to none. At the time and as a small organisation, there were no formal policies or guidelines for baby loss and miscarriage, but Macmillan Davies provided all the help and support I needed, including time off."

"This support continued throughout my pregnancy journey where I unfortunately had another miscarriage. I later found out I had an underlying health condition which affected my pregnancies and led to a number of additional and frequent hospital and medical appointments. The team at Macmillan Davies supported me throughout both from allowing me to take time off for the appointments but also supporting my well-being and I am now lucky enough to have two boys aged 2 and 4.”

Whilst there is no definitive guidance, there are measures that businesses and HR functions can put in place to provide support at any point along the journey:

Put a policy and guidelines in place

By putting a formal policy or guidelines in place, a clear message is sent to employees that they will be supported. It will also help normalise what has historically been considered a taboo subject. In research carried out by the Miscarriage Association, managers and employees feel more comfortable when everyone’s rights and responsibilities are clear, as well as eliminating an employee’s fear of being discriminated against, stigmatised, or judged.

Offer time off

Employment rights are often one of the last things on an employee’s mind after a loss. Employers should be sensitive to each individual situation, whilst ensuring that they are aware of their legal obligations and ongoing duty of care as an employer.

In the UK, there is no legal entitlement to any leave or pay in circumstances where pregnancy loss occurs before 24 weeks and consequently policies regarding leave vary among workplaces. In most cases, (outside of sickness absence) it is up to the discretion of each employer whether to offer compassionate leave, annual leave or unpaid leave in these circumstances. Where possible employers should offer some form of paid leave to support impacted employees.

Flexible working

The theme for this year’s Baby Loss Awareness Week is ‘Stepping Stones’. After pregnancy loss or the death of baby, bereaved parents and other family members find themselves on a new path they never expected to be on. This path is not a straight line, and everyone’s journey is unique. Grief has a long-term and varied impact on people. Flexible working may provide the option of working from home, working on different days or hours, or the option of different tasks - for instance no meetings or non-client facing work for a period of time. By providing the right support and guidance at each stage, those affected can take these stepping stones at their own pace and with a steady integration back into the workplace.

Employee Assistance Programme

Many businesses have Employee Assistance Programmes which offer counselling and medical support. These services can be beneficial not only to the mother but also the partner and wider family who we must not forget to support.

Training

Provide training in how to support employees who have experienced pregnancy or infant loss so they have the knowledge to respond suitably and sensitively, explain what help the employer can provide. The Miscarriage Association has created a useful guide for managers advice on how to discuss pregnancy loss with an employee, and Tommy’s has created a guide on how managers can support an employee after stillbirth.  

Make contact and be supportive

The best thing anyone can do is to be kind, understanding and supportive. Keeping in touch with your colleague, whether you’re managing them or just reaching out as a co-worker will help them feel supported. They may not want to talk immediately but having messages and support from their colleagues available for when they are is paramount. Each individual will know what’s best for them, so follow their lead.

Signpost to relevant places

Have resources available that direct people to relevant charities, groups, or internal resources. A list of relevant organisations and charities are below:

• https://www.tommys.org/
• https://www.sayinggoodbye.org/
• https://www.childbereavementuk.org/
• https://www.cruse.org.uk/
• https://www.sands.org.uk/
• https://twinstrust.org/
• https://ectopic.org.uk/
• https://www.lullabytrust.org.uk/
• https://www.miscarriageassociation.org.uk/
• https://www.abbiesfund.co.uk/
• https://www.achingarms.co.uk/
• https://babyloss-awareness.org/organisations/

Join the Wave of Light

Stand together with thousands around the world to light a candle at 7pm on Saturday 15 October in remembrance of all the much-loved babies who died too soon.